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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918589">Starting Over, Never Ending</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsherlocked07/pseuds/Iamsherlocked07'>Iamsherlocked07</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The West Wing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Missing Scene, institutional memory, post canon-ish, would give my left arm to see them act this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:49:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsherlocked07/pseuds/Iamsherlocked07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>CJ goes to Toby’s apartment struggling with a decision about her future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m soooo nervous about posting this, trying to write the way these two end up together post cannon is a bit of an undertaking. I hope I did it justice. I have some preliminary ideas for continuing this if there’s interest/potential. Had to sneak Huck and Molly in toward the end because family feels are just too cute. </p><p>A little CJ/Toby/Andy if you squint and look real hard. </p><p>Hope you all like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CJ leaned her head back against the car seat, her thoughts replaying the events of the day. </p><p>Andy’s words echoed in her head, “He was your friend for a long time.” He was more than that, though, wasn’t he? Hadn’t he always been?</p><p>It was complicated, this thing between the three of them. Sometimes CJ wasn’t sure who she was more jealous of, Toby or Andy. </p><p>CJ knew when Andy came to her office earlier, she wasn’t just protecting her family. She was giving CJ a sort of blessing, an indication that there was room for her in Toby’s life, an acknowledgment that perhaps she made him a better man, a better father. </p><p>So CJ arranged to be driven to his brownstone apartment, trudging up the steps for what felt like hours. When Toby’s door swung open revealing a huddle of Secret Service agents, he’d nearly fallen to his knees. He felt her absence every day since his confession and now she was standing in his doorway. </p><p>It was still strange to see her with a full security detail, especially one she wasn’t fighting at every turn. She’d grown into her position as Chief of Staff better than anyone could have expected, though he knew that CJ would constantly exceed expectations. </p><p>Toby thought fleetingly that there would be few jobs that he’d want more than to protect CJ Cregg. Though, he supposed, they don’t let people with felonies join the Secret Service. </p><p>Their reunion had been strained and they navigated around each other as if in a land mine, waiting for the explosion. </p><p>They laughed and flirted and argued and the entire time CJ was resisting the urge cry, trying to remain poised and professional and nonchalant like the stakes weren’t as high as could be. He suggested her departure when she got too close, when he nearly revealed his hand, when she hadn’t given the answers he wanted. </p><p>The bitter January air tore through her as CJ rested her hand on the top of the car, drumming her fingers anxiously. Toby watched from the window as she hesitated a moment before turning back and climbing the stairs. He met her at the door, swinging it open to let her in. CJ crossed into living room, pacing in front of the fireplace. </p><p>“CJ?” he asked expectantly, trying to ignore the sound of his heart thrumming in his ears. </p><p>“You,” she said softly, “God, Toby. I want you. It’s always you,” her voice breaking on the last word. </p><p>Toby was completely still for a moment, his eyes widening. Finally, he approached her slowly, as if she were a small animal he was trying not to frighten. Toby lifted his hand, tucking a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear. CJ’s eyes fluttered at the contact as he continued to stroke her hair gently. </p><p>“I’m not good at this,” her bottom lip pouted. </p><p>“I know,” he said, voice full of affection and amusement. </p><p>“No, really,” she insisted, “I’m like astronomically bad at this.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“You know?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Toby tried to hide the smile playing on his lips. </p><p>“This is really complicated. My job is... well it’s my job and the twins and Danny and...” she took a deep breath, lowering her voice. “You could end up in prison.” </p><p>“I know,” this time said with all seriousness. </p><p>“I don’t know how to do this. I’m scared,” she whispered. </p><p>“I thought maybe I’d start by kissing you, if that’s okay.”</p><p>“Yeah,” she swallowed. </p><p>Toby placed his hands on her hips, stepping so close he could feel her breath on his face. His eyes locked on hers and he gently reached up to cup her cheek. His entire body tingled with heat when he pressed lips to hers. The first kiss was chaste, tentative. Her mouth was soft against his and she melted into the touch. When Toby pulled back and saw the flush of her cheeks and felt her hands fist in his shirt, he couldn’t restrain himself. He kissed her again, hungry for her. CJ mewled in response. It had been too long, almost painfully long since they did this. She wound her arms around his neck, pressing closer as if she were trying to devour him. Toby gripped her hips, backing her up until she bumped against the counter. </p><p>His hands wrapped around her waist easily. Toby pulled back slightly, peering at her with eyebrows raised. </p><p>“You really do need to eat more, Claudia Jean,” he scolded. “I’m not there to make you take care of yourself.”</p><p>The glare she gave in response was icy. “So I’m not allowed to self destruct like you?”</p><p>Toby cut her off with a kiss before gliding his lips down her throat and biting at her neck, earning him a sigh that was half frustration, half arousal. </p><p>“You feel amazing,” he said into her skin. </p><p>“Then why did you leave me? You left and it ruined everything.”</p><p>“You know it’s not that simple,” he murmured. </p><p>“Isn’t it? You won’t take a pardon and we are taking about bunk beds and low security versus high security,” she rubbed her forehead exasperatedly. “I can’t even believe we are having this conversation.”</p><p>Toby tried hard to keep his voice even, “You think me staying out of prison will change anything?” </p><p>“I don’t understand. How could it not?”</p><p>“I haven’t been locked up. You could have called, dropped by, mailed me a postcard. Nothing from you for months,” he was yelling by the end of his sentence, arms flailing at his sides. </p><p>“Are you kidding?” CJ yelled back, her eyes fiery, “You’re going to put this on me? You’re fucking radioactive, Toby. I can’t get near this place in broad daylight. You refuse to take a pardon and then what happens? I’d have no career. It’ll be ‘former Chief of Staff Claudia Jean Cregg’ with a boyfriend in jail.”</p><p>Toby huffed, shaking his head. “Why is it always about what it will look like? Why can’t you ever make a decision based on what you want?”</p><p>CJ turned away from him to hide her hurt. “That’s not fair and it’s not true.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? What was Danny?”</p><p>“Toby, don’t,” she warned lowly. </p><p>Silence hung between them for a moment. Toby stepped closer to her, laying a hand on her arm. “Just for once, do what you want CJ.”</p><p>She looked down at his hand and then up at his face. Her eyes bore into him. “I want you to take me to bed. Now.”</p><p>They stumbled to the bedroom, pulling at each other’s clothes. </p><p>He pinned her beneath his weight, lavishing her body with kisses while her hands smoothed over every inch of him she could reached. </p><p>CJ grinned as he shivered beneath her fingers. Toby’s large hands ran up and down her thighs before parting her knees. </p><p>She bit her lip, hips rolling in anticipation, giving him a small nod. </p><p>Toby slipped one finger inside her, then another, earning a groan in response. He wanted to be slow, gentle. To show her how much he treasured this between them. His fingers stretched her, and she grabbed at his arms desperately. After what felt like hours of foreplay and teasing, he sunk into her with a grunt. CJ bucked against him, keeping pace with his thrusts. Toby’s head dropped to her shoulder, kissing along her collarbone. </p><p>“Oh god,” CJ moaned, “oh please, Toby,” she cried breathlessly. She became more desperate, more emotional as she climbed toward climax. CJ was whimpering now, as Toby pushed deeper into her. He pressed his fingers against her clit circling quickly. </p><p>“Please, please, please, Toby,” tears rolled down her cheeks, her need for release and the intensity of being with him overwhelmed her. </p><p>“I’m all yours, baby” he crooned, rubbing her faster. “I’m right here. Come for me,” his voice was liquid. </p><p>He grunted as she tightened around him, unable to hold off his orgasm. </p><p>“Fuck, Jeanie! Oh god,” he whined in pleasure. </p><p>Hearing her name on his lips drove her over the edge, and she moaned loudly. </p><p>Toby stroked her hair as she came down from her peak, trembling slightly. </p><p>“Beautiful,” he murmured against the pale skin on her chest. </p><p>He took her face between his hands, her bottom lip quivering. </p><p>“I’m so mad at you,” she said, her voice tight. </p><p>“I know,” he whispered as he began kissing the tears from her cheeks. </p><p>“Ive missed you so much,” CJ took a shaky breath, “I love you so much.”</p><p>“I love you, Claudia Jean.” </p><p>They fell asleep tangled together, her head resting against his chest. </p><p>CJ woke to Toby pressing a warm kiss against her forehead. </p><p>“Good morning,” she said sleepily.  </p><p>“Morning, sweetheart,” he replied, eyes shining. “Andy and they kids will be here soon, it’s my day with them.”</p><p>“How soon?” she pouted. </p><p>He tried to hide his amusement, “I’ll make some breakfast while you shower.”</p><p>Once in the kitchen CJ barely had time to finish her coffee before there was a knock at the door, followed by the sound of small footsteps shuffling excitedly. </p><p>Toby opened it to reveal Huck and Molly standing in the hallway bouncing slightly, Andy poised behind them. A knowing smile hinted across her face when she saw CJ standing at the counter. </p><p>“Ceeejay!” Molly exclaimed, running to embrace her. </p><p>CJ stooped down, catching the little girl against her, before lifting her to settle against her hip. </p><p>“Hi Mols,” CJ greeted, kissing the child’s forehead. Holding Toby’s daughter made her feel she would burst. At first the twins arrival had been deeply painful, a reminder of what they didn’t have. She thought it would ruin them but instead heart grew two sizes bigger. </p><p>Huck wandered to Toby, tugging at his pant leg. Though he was usually the more outgoing of the two, he was gifted with Toby’s sensitivity, noticing the change in his father.</p><p>“CJ is going to be spending more time with us,” Toby explained, kneeling in front of the child. Andy was smiling broadly now, satisfied with her work. Huck gave a look CJ thought could only be achieved by someone who shared half of Toby’s DNA. His eyebrows knit together seriously, as if he were imitating a grown up. </p><p>“Is that okay, Huck?” CJ asked, a hint of insecurity in her voice. He smiled, giving a nod of approval before running to hug her. </p><p>CJ’s shoulders relaxed as she reached down, mussing his thick hair. When she looked up Toby was beaming at her and for the first time since he’d left CJ felt a glimmer of hope for their future.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CJ and Toby receive news of his pardon on Inauguration Day.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sooooo I’ve decided to try to continue this because the ideas I have for more chapters keep nagging at me. This is one of few post cannon fics of mine so I’m a little nervous about it! I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CJ stared at the piece of paper on her desk, vaguely aware of Margret shuffling out of her office. </p><p>Her fingers itched for the phone in a movement akin to Toby’s mannerisms; she smiled at the thought. </p><p>CJ reached into her coat pocket, fishing out her cell phone. She may not be Chief of Staff for much longer but she certainly wouldn’t use a government phone for this. </p><p>It rang twice before he answered. </p><p>“Toby?”</p><p>“Yeah,” his voice was tight, bracing for bad news. Though, in all honesty, he wasn’t even sure what outcome he was hoping for. </p><p>“He signed it.” There was a long stretch of silence and CJ could hear his breathing slow after a while. </p><p>“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you in a bit.” The click on the other end signaled his departure as the phone on her desk rang. </p><p>“Hello?” </p><p>“Claudia Jean. I take it you’ve seen the last pardon,” echoed the President’s voice. </p><p>“Yes, sir, I did. I can’t thank you—“</p><p>He cut her off, “It’s a gift. For all of you.”</p><p>Tears pricked in her eyes as she considered the meaning of his words. A gift for the four of them—Josh, Sam, Toby, herself. A gift for Andy. For the twins. </p><p>“Don’t be a stranger.”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” she said, placing the phone in the receiver. </p><p>CJ tried to clear her head, to focus her attention on soaking in her last few minutes as a government employee. She roamed the hallways, memories of the last 8 years tangling in her mind. It was strange and almost painful to imagine different people in this building. Part of The White House would belong to them permanently. </p><p>She arrived at Toby’s apartment a few hours later with a bottle of wine gripped loosely in her hand. </p><p>CJ wasted no time when the door clicked behind her. </p><p>“I’m going to talk and I really need you to listen to me.”</p><p>A small smile crept across Toby’s face. “Hi, CJ.”</p><p>She continued, “I’ve thought this through and there are like a million reasons for you to take this pardon. And there are maybe two good reasons not to.” </p><p>“You know if I accept I’m admitting guilt in this whole thing.” </p><p>“You confessed, Toby. As far as anyone is concerned you are guilty.”</p><p>He stilled for a moment, eyes scanning over her. “Do you think I’m guilty?” </p><p>Anger flashed across her face, “Why would you ask me that? Toby this isn’t about morals or politics anymore,” her voice grew quiet. “I don’t want the man I love being carted off to jail. I won’t let you sully everything we’ve built in the last eight years. And I won’t let you take the fall for this.”</p><p>Her eyes were piercing in that way of hers that made her so intimidating in the press room. “It’s enough now, Toby.”</p><p>He shifted his weight between each foot before speaking. “I already spoke to my lawyer. I took the pardon.” </p><p>Toby opened his arms just in time to catch her against his chest as she propelled toward him, wrapping her arms tightly around his back. </p><p>“You let me do that whole speech for nothing,” she said muffled into his shoulder. </p><p>Toby pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “Not for nothing. I like hearing you say you love me.”</p><p>She pulled back, swatting his arm playfully. “Asshole,” she teased. </p><p>As CJ turned to walk toward the couch Toby gently caught her wrist. </p><p>“Hey,” he said softly, “You don’t work at The White House anymore. How’s it feel?”</p><p>CJ let out a long sigh, avoiding his eyes. “I don’t know. She held up the bottle of wine, “I’m gonna get drunk.” </p><p>Before they knew it the sun had set and they were on their second bottle of wine. Toby blew smoke rings from his perch on the armchair while CJ sat on the floor with her back pressed against the couch. </p><p>“Toby?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>CJ’s eyes were glassy when she looked up at him. “Thank you. I just...wanted to say thank you.”</p><p>He tilted his head at her questioningly. “For what, honey?”</p><p>The warmth in his voice reddened her cheeks and made her heart thump against her chest. </p><p>“Thank you for coming to California. For bringing me onto the campaign. For believing in me.” CJ swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath. “You were damn good at your job and the country is better for it.” She looked up at him shyly, “I’m better for it too.”</p><p>Toby stood, walking toward her. He held out his hand, pulling her to her feet. “Thank you, Claudia Jean.” </p><p>He raised her hand to his lips before pressing it against his chest. They stood there for what felt like hours, whispering to each other in the dark with the taste of wine dancing on their lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Toby has an important question.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More fluff and pure wish fulfillment with this chapter! It’s a bit short because the place I want to go next in the story didn’t seem to transition smoothly. Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months later CJ was in the kitchen pouring her third cup of coffee when she turned and saw Toby standing with his hands in his pockets, watching her.</p><p>“Toby, what—“ </p><p>Her eyes settled on a blue leather ring box in the palm of his hand. Her throat was suddenly dry and any thought that didn’t include him disappeared from her mind. </p><p>Toby’s eyes bore into her, searching for her reaction. He took a tentative step closer, gripping the box tightly. </p><p>“I don’t have much luck in this department,” he started. “But this time is different.” </p><p>He took a deep breath, shuffling his feet. “I’m not doing this because it’s the logical next step. I’m not doing this because I think it’s the right thing to do.”</p><p>CJ reached out, resting her hand on his wrist, feeling his warm through the fabric of his shirt. </p><p>“I’m doing this because I want everyone,” he paused, “Mostly you, but I want everyone to know I’ve loved you for a long time.”</p><p>He looked at her earnestly, clearing the lump from his throat. “I’m going to keep loving you, Claudia Jean. And you can say no, it won’t change a thing. We don’t have to do this now or ever I just thought...I just wanted to show you that—“</p><p>“Toby,” CJ cut him off with a shake of her head. </p><p>“Yeah?” Her chest swelled at the way he looked at her, soft but nervous, insecure almost. </p><p>“Are you gonna shut up long enough to let me answer?”</p><p>“Uh yeah I can...I guess I’ve been talking...”</p><p>“Yes,” she whispered. </p><p>“I don’t...was that a yes to me or?”</p><p>CJ threw her head back, laughing deeply. </p><p>“Yes, Toby. I’ll marry you.”</p><p>Toby snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him. </p><p>Giving her best pout, CJ tilted her head at him. “Do I get to see my ring?”</p><p>Toby chuckled as he fumbled in his pocket again. He eased the box open revealing a simple, but elegant diamond ring with a gold band. </p><p>“It’s perfect,” she marveled, slightly embarrassed by her sentimentality. CJ never thought of herself as the kind of woman who dreamt of weddings and babies and picket fences. But standing here in front of him she wanted all their future together could possibly offer her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CJ and Toby make a trip to Manchester.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahh sorry it’s been so long since an update. Between the holidays and school and just the world I wasn’t feeling ready to finish. </p><p>I’m trying to keep the circumstances of the leak super vague so you can interpret it how you will I certainly have an opinion but I know there are lots of theories soooo. </p><p>I think I can squeeze another chapter out of this before writing some new stuff. </p><p>I hope I’m still doing this idea justice and it’s not a total flop. Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They stood on the large, stately porch, the evening air growing cold. </p><p>“Ready?” CJ asked. </p><p>Toby gave a stiff nod, shuffling his feet. </p><p>Though they’d tried to keep their engagement quiet, word spread quickly through their circle until one afternoon CJ got a call from Abbey Bartlet inviting them to Manchester. </p><p>CJ really should have seen that coming. She wasn’t certain how to navigate her relationship with the Bartlets now that they were out of The White House; her impending nuptials to a man who received a presidential pardon only complicated things. </p><p>The large white door swung open, the housekeeper stepped aside to allow them in. </p><p>Walking into the spacious dining room, Toby’s fingers itched for a drink. He hadn’t talked to the President more than once since the night of his confession. He agreed to come because CJ asked him, and if Abbey was reaching out, perhaps it was time to put this all behind them. </p><p>“There you are,” Abbey greeted, pulling CJ into a hug. </p><p>“Mr. President, ma’am, it’s good to see you both.” </p><p>Bartlet took CJ’s hands in his, kissing her cheek sweetly while Toby stood a little ways away, his eyes fixed on the ornate rug. </p><p>Abbey tilted her head, “Toby, I’m glad you’re here.” He smiled tightly, greeting her. </p><p>The room turned silent as the President approached him. </p><p>“Good evening, sir.”</p><p>Bartlet nodded, “I understand you two have an agreement.”</p><p>CJ gave a laugh that was mostly genuine with an edge of nervousness. </p><p>“Oh really, Jed,” Abbey huffed, rolling her eyes. “It wouldn’t kill you to say the word ‘engagement’.” </p><p>The tension fizzled out of the room when Abbey took CJ’s left hand, inspecting the sparking ring. </p><p>“Very nice,” she said, giving Toby a wink. “Who’s hungry?”</p><p>......</p><p>Dinner was somewhat awkward as the silence vacillated between familiar and stilted. </p><p>It was strange to catch up with people they used to see every day. There was so much to talk about—the twins, Charlie and Zoey, the new administration, career plans. CJ felt nothing had changed, yet everything was different. </p><p>When they finished dinner, Abbey suggested they move to the living room for cocktails. </p><p>The president pushed back his chair, attempting to stand. His hands trembled while his knees felt weak and heavy. The cane wobbled in his palm precariously. </p><p>Before Toby could say anything, CJ rose, moving to his side almost instinctively. </p><p>She carefully placed her hand on his back. </p><p>“Here, let me help, sir.” There was a small hitch in her voice that only Toby noticed. </p><p>The president took her arm, leaning into her for support. </p><p>Watching her with the President, Toby realized, perhaps for the first time, the way her relationship with him changed when she became Chief of Staff. His conditioned changed in those last few years and CJ had been  source of stability. </p><p>Toby now understood the way she threw herself into the new position. While she was in Washington, working closely with a man she adored, her father slipped away in a nursing home in Ohio. She tended to the president and the country to make up for the fact that she didn’t have the cure for memory loss. </p><p>It was suddenly very important to Toby to make things right again. CJ couldn’t lose more people, more family. And frankly, neither could he. </p><p>“You should know I didn’t do it because I think I’m morally superior,” he blurted. </p><p>The room fell silent, CJ’s eyes looking from Toby, to the president, and back again. </p><p>Bartlet nodded as if he’d been expecting this, “Yeah, okay.” </p><p>CJ’s jaw twitched as she waited for the explosion. The night of his confession had been one of the worst in her life. </p><p>Instead, the president released his grip on CJ. “Could we have the room?”</p><p>She stood, somewhat stunned for a moment. A small smile crept on Abbey’s face as she nodded her head toward the door. </p><p>“Let’s take a walk, CJ.”</p><p>Her feet moved robotically toward the door, stopping for a moment to give Toby’s arm an affectionate squeeze. CJ could have burst with pride that he’d been so vulnerable, so honest a moment ago. </p><p>She couldn’t help wonder what life would be like right now had Toby not confessed. Where would they be? Who would they be?</p><p>The two women roamed the grounds for what felt like an eternity before the Bartlet housekeeper appeared in the doorway, waving them inside.  </p><p>When Abbey and CJ  came back into the living room, the air was lighter and both men’s eyes shone with unshed tears. </p><p>“Everything okay?” CJ asked nervously, fingers drumming against her legs. </p><p>Toby gave a small nod, reaching for her hand. </p><p>“Everything is just fine, Claudia Jean,” the president rumbled. </p><p>He was being genuine but there was something below the surface she couldn’t quite place, as if she were back in school and everyone knew the answer but her. </p><p>Regardless, she let out a long sigh of relief. “I’m so glad, sir.” </p><p>......</p><p>That night, lying in bed next to each other, CJ was restless. Questions swirled in her mind until she rolled onto her side, facing Toby. </p><p>“There’s more to the story, isn’t there,” she whispered. “There’s things I don’t know about you confession. Things that you haven’t told me.”</p><p>Toby sighed resignedly. “CJ, you know we can’t talk about this.”</p><p>“We don’t have secrets, Toby.” Her pouting lips were nearly enough to make him cave. It was in moments like these that he couldn’t quite believe she’d be his wife in just a few months. </p><p>He laid a hand against her cheek, “I know, Jeanie,” he said seriously, “But we have to have this one. I have to protect you.”</p><p>CJ huffed in frustration, “I hate this. I don’t need protecting, Toby. None of this makes sense. Do you know how close you were to going to jail?”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter now,” Toby whispered. </p><p>CJ wanted to argue but her eyes were growing heavy. </p><p>“Thank you, for whatever you did. Whatever you said to him.”</p><p>Toby leaned forward, brushing a kiss against her forehead. </p><p>“Goodnight, Claudia Jean.”</p><p>She was fast asleep before she could answer.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Years later, Huck has questions about his father’s past. </p><p>The final chapter of this work.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for reading! I hope you’ve enjoyed this. It’s been pure wish fulfillment on my part and I really loved giving them their happy ending. </p><p>This last chapter is a little cheesy but I wanted to wrap it up nicely.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The circumstances of their final months in The White House faded from the forefront of their minds until the years blended together. </p><p>With the distance several years provided, their attention turned to the more important parts of life, like the family they built.</p><p>CJ and Toby hadn’t talked or thought about the leak until one day Huck came home from junior high, red faced with clenched fists. </p><p>He slammed the front door, tossing his book bag on the floor. As he grew older it was clear he’d inherited Toby’s temper. </p><p>“What’s the matter?” CJ asked, concerned. </p><p>Molly looked warily between her brother and step mom. </p><p>“Huck?” </p><p>Without taking a break, he launched into his story. </p><p>“Today in social studies we talked about presidents who’ve been convicted of crimes and then we talked about Nixon and how he was pardoned so we talked about how presidential pardons work and...”</p><p>CJ’s shoulders tensed as she prepared for what was coming next. </p><p>“I had a question about that and Mrs. Elm said Molly and I should know all about pardons because of dad. So I went to the library at lunch and googled it and...”</p><p>“Slow down, Huck,” CJ chided. </p><p>“And I read about dad and why he left The White House.”</p><p>The room fell silent as Toby walked into the kitchen. </p><p>“Why have we never talked about this,” Huck demanded, looking at his father. </p><p>CJ eye’s met Toby’s, their ability to communicate without words making itself useful. </p><p>CJ laid a hand on Toby’s arm, giving him a small squeeze before turning to Huck. </p><p>“Your teacher never should have said that to you. It wasn’t right,” she said softly.  “But we should have this conversation.”</p><p>The four of them took their seats at the kitchen table. </p><p>Toby remained silent, looking at his hands. </p><p>CJ started, “The truth is, there’s a lot about our lives back then that’s very public.” She gently tilted Huck’s chin toward her. </p><p>“But there’s also a lot that isn’t known or can’t be known.” CJ directed her next sentence to Molly. </p><p>“There’s going to be things you two hear that you don’t like or agree with. But,” she took a deep breath, “What you have to know is that we did our best. Every day we tried to do some good.”</p><p>Toby nodded in agreement, clearing his throat. </p><p>“Your dad did something very brave and very hard. It was complicated. It is complicated.”</p><p>“What matters,” CJ’s voice cracked, “What I want you two to focus on is our family. Not just the four of us and your mom but everyone else too. Through all of this we still have that and no one else matters if you don’t want them to.”</p><p>Huck and Molly sat for a moment, absorbing her words. </p><p>Molly reached out, grasping Toby’s hand tightly. He smiled at her, eyes glistening. </p><p>“Okay, mom,” Huck nodded, letting his shoulders relax. “Okay.”</p><p>......</p><p>After dinner, Toby found CJ sitting on the porch swing, eyes fixed ahead. </p><p>A memory fluttered through his consciousness until he heard the echo of her voice from years ago. </p><p>She called him late one night, well it was morning really, from a number he didn’t recognize. </p><p>“CJ?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. </p><p>“Hey,” she whispered. </p><p>“What are you...CJ where are you? You can’t call me...”</p><p>“I’m at a pay phone in Virginia. Did you know they still have pay phones?”</p><p>“CJ...”</p><p>“You have to tell them it was me,” she said desperately. </p><p>Toby shook his head, “It wasn’t.”</p><p>“Toby you didn’t have clearance for that information. I should have never asked you about David.”</p><p>It had been a few weeks since he last saw her, but the image of her in his mind remained crystal clear. He could see the way she was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, shifting from side to side. </p><p>“All you did was confirm what I already knew. You didn’t tell me to leak it and I had no idea you and Greg Brock spoke that often. That was my fault. Of course they thought it was you.”</p><p>Her voice wobbled, “I’m so sleep deprived. What if I leaked it on accident?”</p><p>“You didn’t.”</p><p>“I could have”</p><p>Toby sighed deeply. “Listen to me. There’s no point in both of us ruining our lives over this.”</p><p>“I thought the Romeo and Juliet thing was kinda romantic,” she quipped. </p><p>“CJ,” Toby warned. </p><p>“What about Huck and Molly?”</p><p>“They’ll understand,” he said. “And they have Andy. And you.”</p><p>He could hear the tears in her voice. “You don’t have to do this. Please, please don’t do this.”</p><p>“I gotta go.” He hung up and that was it. He’d made the decision for them both. </p><p>The sound of the porch swing squeaking brought him back to the present. </p><p>CJ was looking at him intently, head tilted. As if she’d just seen the same memory she said quietly, “I should have confessed instead of you.”  </p><p>Toby sat next to her, taking both hands in his. </p><p>“Do you think there is any world where I’d let you do that, Jeanie?”</p><p>She shook her head as a tear slipped down her cheek. </p><p>“Shh,” he soothed, wiping at her face. “Everything is okay now. It’s over and behind us.” </p><p>CJ let out a long, shaky breath. “I know. I just hadn’t thought about it in a while. Huck surprised me.”</p><p>“You’re a good mom, CJ. They’re lucky to have you.” </p><p>Toby stood, reaching for her hands. “Come inside, the twins are asking about.”</p><p>CJ followed him, leaving a part of their past behind.</p>
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